Interview - Brandan Schieppati

Myself, Brandan Schieppati, and my personal trainer Gibson.

I never know where I’m going to find inspiration from.

I recently had the pleasure of having a one-on-one conversation with Brandan Schieppati, lead singer of Bleeding Through and the owner of Rise Above Fitness. I first heard of Bleeding Through after I reviewed their album Portrait of the Goddess for Keeper Magazine (RIP, I hope I still have a copy of that issue somewhere). I loved the intensity of their sound, and I have been a fan ever since. I was a pretty angry guy around that time, and the musical aggressiveness and raw lyrics really resonated with me. It was something that I needed at the time. The equivalent of screaming into a pillow, but for the length of a whole album. I really can’t stress enough how much music like this helps me through tough times. Music was/is my outlet, my way of releasing everything that I need to let go of.

I was looking for a new gym after my original gym closed due to Covid, and after a few Google searches I found Rise Above Fitness. A gym that’s relatively close to me that’s owned by the lead singer of one of my favorite bands? Yeah go ahead and sign me up. Even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to do mostly weight training, I could at the very least listen to death metal while I work out. Little did I know that two and half years later, I have not only gotten into the best shape of my life, I have developed a friendship with Brandan, as well as built quality relationships with other members of the gym.

I mentioned at the end of our conversation that RAF has improved my mental health more than my physical health. I even told Brandan after our interview that between his band and his gym, he has had a positive affect on my mental health in one way or another for over 20 years. And that is the truth.

I must confess, I have been struggling with my mental health lately. My sense of self-worth, the anniversary of my mom passing, some weird version of a midlife crisis…all these things have contributed to me not feeling like the best version of myself. Some days I just want to lock myself in a room and never come out. But I’m not going to. I have too many positive things in my life to just quit on myself. I owe it to myself and all of my loved ones to keep surrounding myself with positive inspiration to continue. I will feed my soul with the things that bring me joy, and eliminate the things that do not.

I firmly believe that’s why I connect with Brandan so well. He has spoken before about his struggles, and I always find it comforting knowing that others have the same issues I do. Not feeling alone in your battles is reassuring to me.

I spoke with Brandan for close to an hour, but I could talk to that guy all day. He’s a true example of living your life to it’s fullest. And we have more in common that I thought. For example, we both had older brother’s who influenced us musically. My brother is 12 years older than I am, and one of my first musical memories is sifting through his CD collection and listening to Depeche Mode, The Cure, The Clash, Echo and the Bunnymen, and other weird 80’s bands. All of that lead me to the Seattle bands, which then lead me to metal, which lead me to here.

I barely scratched the surface on all the questions I wanted to ask Brandan. But that’s ok. I can ask him questions next week. Or the week after. Because he is a regular part of my life. Just like his music is.

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Charlie Bodhi: your first love music or sports?

Brandan Schieppati: Sports for sure…I was obsessed with football as a kid. I was really drawn to sports, I was always outside. Sports like football in the street, baseball in the street, hockey in the street, riding BMX, surfing, anything like that. And then, I discovered Headbanger's Ball. And I literally was like, this is fucking awesome…I was a little kid seeing these bands. I was seeing people doing like what I wanted to do, but I didn't know at the time, but like, I always been drawn music. I was always like, really into music…my brother is eight years older than me, so he introduced me to a lot of cool bands, when I was young. I was 10 years old and listening to Suicidal Tendencies and shit like that. So like punk, metal, I liked a lot of, like 90s hip hop rap stuff like that. So I always had like the music thing, but I always I always thought I was gonna be like a professional athlete. When I was a kid, I thought I might be a professional, right?

But then like I started seeing Headbanger’s Ball and like seeing the videos and back in those days too, the videos were a lot of live stuff. And I'm like, this just looks so fucking cool. So then I started like jamming with friends that had instruments and was like okay, you play guitar. I guess, I’ll learn how to play bass and we'll do punk songs and covers and shit that and got into it like that. And once once I actually played like a show on stage, the first stage show I ever played was guitar for Eighteen Visions. The first like real venue I played was the Showcase Theater and I remember I got played plenty of house parties and stuff like that.

CB: So no other bands before that?

BS: I mean, I played in a lot of bands, but it was like house shows, backyard parties, hardcore shows, but first legit gig was a Eighteen Visions show and I was a junior in high school.

Once I did that, I was like okay this is what I'm gonna do. And the professional athlete thing kind of went away. And I'm like this is like all I care about is music.

CB: Are you self-taught?

BS: I'm self-taught at everything. Yes. Drums, guitar, bass, I think I did piano lessons when I was a kid. That's really the only thing I've ever like, been taught how to play.

CB: Did your music world and sports world ever collide, did they ever come together? Did you have separate music friends and sports friends?

BS: Oh, totally, especially in high school. There wasn’t punk rock, hardcore kids that played sports. So, I like kind of walked both lines and I also walked the line of being friends with all the skaters and surfers…so yeah, the sports and music thing was definitely separate for sure. And I remember wanting to go to shows, but having like a baseball game that night or like, wanting to go to a football game on Friday… I stopped like caring about like that, I wanted to go to shows and stuff.

CB: I've only known you as owner of Rise Above Fitness and singer of Bleeding Through. Did you have like part-time jobs growing up? Like, what kind of stuff did you do?

BS: Interesting stuff, so, like, like I worked at coffee shops a lot. So coffee shops were very flexible with me, especially with me wanting to go on tour. It worked out to my lifestyle where like I would be, I'd be out all night at shows and stuff and hanging out and I just go straight to opening a coffee shop. And then go to bed after that.

Yeah, so I did that a lot. I like being a coffee shop like talking to people and stuff like that. I love serving people and other than that, let’s see, what other jobs that I have… I used to help a family friend with this private investigating company.
So I used to do like surveillance for them which is the real job ever..

CB: What!? Like hiding out your car?

BS: Yeah I would sit in a fucking car for 12 hours sometimes. Like five days in that week. The same spot. Or move the spot a little bit, but sometimes you literally sit there for 12 hours. Not see anything. Watch people get in their cars. You got to get in your car and follow them from afar. You have to video, all that shit.

CB: Did you get into any gnarly situations?

BS: No not in any crazy situations. But like, I have like one of the funniest stories. I'll tell you story…Funny thing about that is I said this in Revolver (magazine) in 2003 and it was at the the Viper room…yeah, so Jacoby (Shaddix) from Papa Roach comes up. He's like, dude, you're the singer Bleeding Through right? I’m like yeah, he's like you used to do private investigating, how fucking cool! And I'm like, yeah, well, it's kind of cool. He's like we should start like a metal core band together. I'm like, okay! Yeah, he's cool…it’s just funny because he's like I thought that was a crazy reading that he used to do like private investigating, right? So yeah, I used to do surveillance. I served people papers all that shit. So like one of the craziest things ever was, I was down in San Diego and I was supposed to be down there for like, four days, four day authority to like, watch this person for an insurance case.

It was like a workman's comp case, like he was trying to sue for getting hurt on the job. So the whole time he was claiming that he couldn't go to the grocery store, couldn't leave his house, couldn't drive, couldn't focus, someone had to come take care of him, this and that.

CB: And you’re trying to catch him.

BS: Yeah, so first, I'm down there for fucking four days, right? Make the drive down there. Four days. I'm down there 30 minutes, dude. And I'm driving this old Toyota minivan, this Previa, the most inconspicuous car in the world. So, I'm sitting there in this car. Fucking 30 minutes into watching, he comes out of his house, gets in his fucking big old truck, hauls ass like I could barely fucking keep over this dude at all, like the whole thing is like, do not lose the guy. So I’m hauling fucking ass, right? In this Previa trying to keep on his dude to the streets of fucking San Diego and he goes to a liquor store gets like a fucking 36 pack, some other alcohol, shoots the shit. Smokes a couple cigarettes with some dudes on the side of the liquor store and I'm videoing him the whole time. He’s doing that, gets his car races home. Then he's not his house for 20 minutes, he comes back outside speeds somewhere else, goes in plays fucking ultimate frisbee. And I'm like, bro, you're suing this company. You're suing your company for like, $20 million. You can't keep it together?! Your lawyer didn't tell you that someone like me was gonna be watching you? Like, if you sue for anywhere close to a million (dollars), private investigators are gonna be on you right away.

CB: You should probably lay low.

BS: Probably yeah, just don't do shit, especially if you're whole thing is like, I’m fucked up. So, like so the funny thing is I had to like present that information to like a mediation. It was hilarious, because the dude sitting there in a fucking neck brace like, playing it up and I just put on the video and then I step out of the room.

Like, this is surveillance I did over four hours. Here's my notes. My notes were like, 20 pages… “6:30pm, goes to liquor store again. 9:15, three people come over to the house. 11:30, one person, leaves two more people come in, 1:30am, six more people come to the house…” and you're just like, this dude is on a wicked bender. What an idiot. So yeah, that's what I did…

I also went to hair (cutting/styling) school. I almost graduated hair school but I made the decision to do full-time touring and just give it a shot because I booked like the West Coast tour with us and this band called From Autumn to Ashes. This was like in 2001. And I was in hair school and I was like okay, I'm gonna be a hair stylist while I'm not on tour. That was my whole goal.

CB: Was this because of James (Hart, singer of Eighteen Visions)?

BS: Yeah because of James too, since that's what he did…and, you know, it was doable, right? So then I was to we went on that tour with From Autumn to Ashes I'm like, what do you guys do? Like nothing. We just tour is as much as we can to pay our bills and just tour until it fucking happens. And I was so inspired by that and I literally said to the band like halfway through the tour and like we're not playing big shows, we're literally playing for 20 people at night and and I'm like, dude let's do this full on. We can make this work. We don't live outside of our means. We all have reasonable rent. We don't really require much. As long as we can pay our bills, we can keep doing this. And I'm like if you don't want to do it, tell me and we'll find someone else. But if you're with us, let’s ride. Let's do this.

CB: You're all in.

BS: Yeah, all in all out. And that's what it really is. It really takes that. Well, you cannot be a full-time band and come from a full-time job, and keep that full time job. Unless you're an IT person you could work from off-site, or do something computer based which I'm sure there's lots more jobs (like that) now… you could do something like that, otherwise you got to put everything into that band.

CB: On some later tours, on the road, you were doing fitness stuff and helping other bands doing fitness stuff. When did you think that you could do fitness for a living?

BS: It was weird. Like so I've always been in the fitness but like when the there was like a four year five year gap where like I was like finding a gym like three days a week on the road or just working out with like some minor stuff and there's the same shit. We do some biceps, triceps, shoulders…basic, basic shit. Yeah. But I wasn't really eating right, I was getting older and I was eating the same shit and it was just you know kind of got like a little bit like like not how I wanted to look, basically.

So I went and I started educating myself because it was also helping me like mentally kind of get through the day. A lot of downtime on tour and we don't we didn't party or drink. We didn't do anything so we were just like constantly looking for something to do, right. Straight edge people on tour are bored as shit or getting in trouble, you know? And so it's like my thing was like I'm gonna start going to the gym but if I do it make the commitment to do it. I'm going to educate myself. So I went and saw a trainer who became later became like sort of my mentor and kind of got educated through him as well.

And then when I went on tour, I was serious about it. Like I get to the venue in the bus or however we're touring, and I'd be like, find a gym. I couldn't find a gym. I've brought stuff on the road and I'd do parking lot workouts.

The summertime is that mainly do parking lot workouts anyway, it was kind of cool. Chill out, whatever. And eventually, you know, I started to just doing it, got good shape and saw that I can make a difference in myself. And at that point, then I started training people in my band.

And then other bands that were on the road with like kind of creep over like, hey, what are you doing? And I started seeing how much it made a difference in them and how they felt how they were playing on stage, like just their body changing, how fucking stoked they were, how they weren't drinking a million beers at the end. They were caring about something else other than like just destructive shit to kill time. Which is, that “destructive shit to kill time” is Being in a Band 101, like straight up. So and it's like, so I started seeing that and I started seeing what it was doing and I was kind of building this culture.

Like every day I'd come off my bus and there would be a new person trying it out. Then that person had a friend from that area coming into work out. And I'm like, all right, this is a culture thing. Yeah, you can build this culture.

Yes. So I kind of was like, I'm gonna go home and this is what I'm gonna do. And I was increasingly getting more and more unhappy being on the road so much. And just, it wasn't getting out what I wanted to get out of being in Bleeding Through anymore as a full-time thing. So I kind of dove into the fitness thing. To see what I can do.

CB: Did you have any formal training?

BS: Yeah I educated myself under under my mentor, you know, I'd learned all the shit that he learned through other people there as well. A lot of athletic training, but then I got a couple certificates to have and I really sponged up as much stuff as I possibly could.

CB: Did you ever consider bodybuilding professionally?

BS: I did. I was at a spot where I was like, people kept telling me “you're not tall,” which is a good way of saying like, you're just not short, you're just very average, you’d do really well in bodybuilding because you’re proportionate.

So I kind of got into that but then I started like training females to do competitions and I was like, I don't want to do this myself…

CB: Because you saw what went into it?

BS: Yeah just what goes into it, I don't have that. Yeah, more power to you…But I also know that it mentally fucks up a lot of people after, and people falling into bad eating habits. And having bad relationships with food and I don't like that. And I like food.

CB: So your mentor is that, is that the person that you got Rise Above from?

Yeah his name is Scott Prohaska, he was my trainer. I interned under him learned a lot from him. I worked at his gym, went out on my own and then he then he went out and… it was kind of an opportunity. He wanted out of the gym business, I wanted in.

So his investor at the time was a mutual friend and I got to sort of had the opportunity to kind of buy what he had. And then that became Rise Above (Fitness) and I moved locations once and then moved location again (to current location in Huntington Beach).

CB: All right, so moving on to music. I know some of your influences. Guys like Glenn Danzig (Misfits/Danzig) and Henry Rollins (Black Flag/Rollins Band). Punk guys that were in great shape. How much of their inspiration was physical and how much was artistic?

BS: Oh yeah, Danzig and Rollins are 2 of my favorites, the thing that drew me to those singers was really, the power that they had on stage and it really was because of the way they looked. And to me it wasn't necessarily like yeah, look this way to look scary. To me, it looked like these motherfuckers are disciplined. That's what it shows me. You're disciplined to do something. And their careers are just that, very disciplined. And they have legacy careers that transcend music.

Like you could say Danzig is like a fucking polka band and it wouldn't matter. It's still fucking Danzig. Rollins has transcended music, literature, acting, writing, everything he's done. Everything is just like his own thing, you know, being his own publisher forever and very cool thing and to me that's like what I wanted to do.

Like I didn't want to just be in a band to just be in a band, like I wanted to do something off of the band which happened to be fitness and also like contribute in other ways like leave a mark, not just be like this guy that was in this band and then all of a sudden he's done. So I looked up at them is like this is the way that I want to do it, you know. I'm not stupid enough to think that my band was gonna be as big as Metallica. And then I could just be James Hetfield from Metallica, you know what I mean?

CB: So you just drew inspiration from those guys as far as longevity…

BS: Yeah, even coming up like through like punk rock scene and everything back then, they all had something else going on. Rollins is writing and poetry and stuff like that, right? All the spoken word tours…

CB: So this year you're doing about 20ish years celebrating This is Love This is Murderous (Bleeding Through’s breakthrough and influential second album) and you re-recording some of those songs right?

BS: We’re re-recording three old songs off that record. “Number Seven With a Bullet,” “On Wings of Lead,” and “Love Lost in a Hail of Gun Fire.”

CB: Just those three songs? What are you doing differently this time around?

BS: You know what? When I hear those songs, when we recorded those records, we were in such a juvenile state of this band. Like our recording budget was like eight grand. And it was rushed and it came out raw, but perfect that way I thought… but every time I listen to that record, I just wish I had a little bit better of a recording. I just wish that we had the opportunity to really, like build on those songs and make the chorus parts a little bit more like theatrical. The keyboards could have been better, everything was just very rushed on that record. We went through pre-production, went through recording. I think we recorded it in like a week and just fucking hammered it out, done. And it was like, cool that way but there's certain songs that, it's those three songs in particular I know personally that I just I've always wanted to hear with like better production, you know?

CB: Well, to my amateur ears they sounds great.

BS: Yeah, I mean, but like, it's a cool recording, it's great. But I just hear so much more in those songs that have it be more epic and stuff like that, just things could be heavier. Like I just want to hear what like a modern (version sounds like). We don't really do the over-exaggerated recordings. But we we do have very like, clean recordings that are heavy. I just want to hear like that.

CB: But where do you draw the line? Because I think most musicians, they can go back and listen to their old stuff and be like, that could be better. Yeah, I wish I could like do this or that, and you can go back and nitpick everything.

BS: Totally, it's really like a re-record too, you just because like, a lot of fans that we have are like ‘hey you should re-record this song.’ So we just kind of want to do is something like differently.

CB: So, are these three gonna be standalone?

BS: We're just gonna throw that out as an EP. And then after that, we're gonna start writing for a full length. Yeah I think we're gonna do a full length.

CB: You have some tours lined up later this year.

BS: Yeah, let’s see. We have Texas coming up in July. We're doing a three-day Midwest little run in August. I believe we're confirmed for a festival in Albany with Hatebreed Labor Day weekend (Born Dead Fest). (Editor’s note: this interview was done before these previously mentioned shows). Hopefully doing Canada around that weekend with Unearth. After that, we're kind of trying to see what's going on for October, November. December, we have our big show at Anaheim House of Blues.

CB: Is that official yet?

BS: That's official. We're doing it December 16th. (Editor’s note: you heard it here first! Unless you heard it somewhere else first!)

CB: Is the lineup confirmed?

BS: I know right now we have Winds of Plague confirmed with original lineup…yeah, we have other ideas in the works.

CB: So I see that you're managing bands now. Now you managing Salt Wound. Is this is this something that they came to you with? Did you go to them? Is this something you want to keep doing again?

BS: I went to them. I managed before and I had a really good lineup like The Ghost Inside, Let Live, All Shall Perish, Stray From the Path, Lionheart, Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza, which was such a cool band. For the Fallen Dreams… like I had a fucking roster, man.

I wasn't in the right place mentally. I was trying to do my gym. Yeah, that's the around the time I was starting to really try to…I was taking on a lot and I didn't think I would have had the right mentality for it because back then I felt like it was a little bit slimier and I wasn't really a slimeball. I didn't want to do favors and go to places just for like, networking, you know what I mean? Yeah, now I will go network…but I was also dick deep in Bleeding Through and that was such a weird wave at that time. Just a lot of stuff. I wasn't mentally ready. Now, I'm mentally ready. And I wasn't really planning on doing it, but we put Salt Wound on a show with us in Northern California, Sacramento area, and they just fucking crushed. And I'm like, who the fuck is this band? And it really inspired me to do it. I've talked to them, got to know, a little bit of the next couple days of playing shows with them, they're fucking awesome people. And their band is amazing and their mentality is right. I see really big things and I want to be part of it. And I think what I can offer a lot now is mentorship. You know, one thing I do have is knowledge. I've been experiencing it. I have been through that highs and lows. I have been through it all. So I can offer that, because I think a lot of newer bands are getting in their own way with things. I also started managing a band called Last of Our Kind, local band as well. So, right now, I'm just really trying to drum up interest for both bands. Both bands have a lot of good interests, so I'm fielding record label offers it’s kind of cool. And I plan to build these bands with the same care as Bleeding Through.

CB: Okay, so your management duties are label stuff, tour stuff…

BS: Yeah I’m coordinating tour stuff with agents but trying to find agents for your bands is pretty tough.

CB: And your roll as a mentor?

BS: Just kind of like just kind of give them advice, that third party advice.

CB: Do you like advise on songwriting, or the type of sound they should have?

BS: I'll get into that yeah, the production with both bands if they want it. I’ll offer that as well.

CB: You’ve had a lot of different producers, does one stand out to you? We’ve talked about Rob (Caggiano/The Truth) before, but then you have Ulrich (Wild/This is Love, This is Murderous) and Devin (Townsend/Declaration)….

BS: Yeah for that record, Ulrich was like, ‘You guys ready? Cool.’ A week later you have to record. We got in this record out. It’s like boom-boom-boom…so we got together with Ulrich. Joey Jordison (former Slipknot drummer RIP) was actually supposed to (produce) the record, that’s the funny thing…

CB: No kidding?! But he was probably busy with Slipknot? Or Murderdolls?

BS: It just didn't work out…Slipknot was still in a very infant stage. So he wasn't really Joey Jordison at the time… but we went with Ulrich. Funny enough, we chose Ulrich because I was talking to Matt (M. Shadows) from Avenged (Sevenfold) and he was like, I love the Static-X stuff he did (Wisconsin Death Trip, Machine), he does some cool shit, this and that,
and I’m like well I don't like really know Static-X, but I want to work with someone that kind of has no fucking clue what we're like, to kind of give like an outside perspective and he did great and but it was just too rushed.

We decided not to go back to him second time because we wanted to go to Rob Caggiano. Because we were like, who does Cradle (of Filth)? Oh, Rob does Cradle (Caggiano produced Cradle of Filth albums Nymphetamine and Thornography). Heard a couple other records like the Agony Scene record (The Darkest Red) that he did, and I was like, this records the shit! But everything that could go wrong went wrong on that record and it's my least favorite record.
I don't think it's Rob. You know, he got really sick midway through recording, we tried to record it guerrilla style, I guess to save money or for comfort or I don't know. We just should have went somewhere for a month on the record and it would have been a completely different album.

CB: Not to mention him having you burn out your voice.

BS: Oh yeah, driving me to the ground. Devin was the best, he was my favorite producer. He let us explore our creative side, but he also corralled it in and kind of told us like, this is what you're good at. This is what you're not good at. This is what you're good at. And he really helped mold us into like a fucking machine. We were a different band after we recorded with Devin. Like different - different mindset, different songwriting, visions, different everything…(we were more) comfortable with ourselves. So yeah, that was great. Then we did Zeuss (Chris “Zeuss” Harris/Bleeding Through) after that. Zeuss is great. We've always had different guys, than we started working with Mick (Kenney/The Great Fire) a bunch.

CB: Is that conscious thing, working with different guys? Like you want a different feel for each album?

BS: No, we actually were going to go back to Rob because we're like, we knew that (the last album) was all circumstances. He even said he's like, dude, I would love a do-over. But it just didn't work out timing wise.
So we went to Devin. And ended up being the right thing. Declaration is my favorite record. It has a vibe all its own. You could just tell how fucking pissed off we were at the time. And we were, that was like the low point for the band. We weren’t making as much money as we were before…the Trustkill (Records) shit was blowing up in our face. People were having babies and shit and like shit's changing right?

CB: Lineup changes.

BS: Lineup changes, it was just it is a hard time but it produced a good record. And then after that we started working with Mick, yeah after Zeuss, started working with Mick for a couple records and we love to working with Mick, and Mick is one of my best friends and it was cool.

CB: So now for the recent EP and the new recordings, are you self-producing these?

BS: We’re self-producing. We’re going to self-produce from now on, I don't need a producer anymore. I think one of my biggest like strengths as a songwriter is production. I hear the bigger picture. So we just we do to self-production and then we get someone to mix it. And we've had different people mix, we’ve had Matt Thomas mix the ‘Wartime’ single. This EP we're having someone else mix it…if one of these dudes knocks our socks off, we'll just go to them for like the actual one. We’ve always wanted to do stuff with Will Putney (musician/producer), so that's an option.

CB: So you've done a lot. You've been on thousands of tours. I mean, as far as touring is there anybody left to tour with that you haven’t toured with yet?

BS: It'd be great to do a full Avenged Sevenfold tour. It seems weird to say, because we've been friends for fucking our whole lives. And we've done so many tours together, but in the beginning stages of our (respective) bands. And then, when we did Ozzfest in 2006, we did some side shows of them and then we were supposed to do a full US tour. Full European tour, full Australian tour with them. There were like, we're going to take you on everything.

CB: World tour!

BS: Yeah! They were like, we love you guys, and then Jimmy (The Rev, former A7x drummer RIP) had to get checked in a treatment. So they had to cancel all those tours. Like yeah, of course right?
And they offered us stuff after that, so it's not like they shunned us away. But of course, I would love to play with them. I don't know what it would do for this band though. I'm sure it would do great, but…

CB: The HB (Huntington Beach) World Tour!

BS: I would just love to tour with them just to fucking hang out with them every day. I’ll mop the fucking floors just to tour with them, I don't even fucking care. But yeah, I mean really every band we wanted to tour with we’ve toured with.
Like, trying to think of like my all-time like faves…I've really, I really can honestly say that I can't think of anybody good. Nobody like jumps out. I mean At the Gates would be cool to tour with because are one of my favorite bands, never toured with them.

CB: In Flames?

BS: Yeah, you got me there. Right when The Truth came out, we decided to do a headlining tour and we took Every Time I Die, Between the Buried and Me. Great decision, shows were fucking fantastic. At the same time, we got offered direct support for In Flames and we turned it down and we just never got another offer. I know it’s not personal, I just think that sometimes there are those windows of opportunity, and it just that wasn't that and nothing after that kind of lined up.

CB: The timing wasn't right.

BS: The timing wasn’t right. If we were a full-time band now, I would guarantee we would tour with In Flames.

CB: What do you think about the state of heavy music right now?

BS: I think we're in a really good state. I think we're in a spot where bands, like Ice Nine Kills is opening the doors, and Motionless (In White), even though like they started harder and they're still pretty fucking hard now. They're hard, they're always hard. But they're opening the door for discovery for harder bands to be discovered by a people that are getting into it. Yeah, not saying like they're a gateway. But yeah, I guess their gateway. I mean fuck. I'll say they're a gateway (band). Bleeding Through is a gateway for a lot of people. Atreyu was a gateway. Avenged Sevenfold is a gateway. Great bands are gateways and like, I think it's in a good state. Like, shows are big, shows have great turnouts…hardcore, or like hardcore hardcore is like massive. You know what I mean? It makes sense. It feels like it now how it was when I was like 17 going to hardcore shows like yeah you go to a show in a fucking VFW hall and there's like a thousand people there and you're like, what the fuck? Because it's what kids are fucking doing. And it's very young, but it's awesome.

CB: I feel it’s very cyclical, like it comes in waves…

BS: Yeah I feel like the average age of metal shows though, is older now.

CB: Yeah, like younger fans that grew up listening to heavy music, and now they're bringing their kids to shows.

BS: Things are in a great state, I think. I think the next thing that needs to happen is an Ozzfest needs to be put together, or something of the sort, a traveling tour again. People want that. And just learn from the mistakes that they made before, rectify those mistakes, keep the budgets a little bit lower, do a traveling festival because that, that is what built legacies for bands. And like, I tell people all the time, it's weird to say but like, if you were on 2004 Ozzfest, you're gonna have a career for rest your life. It was that monumental. It really was. Like, that's why bands like Darkest Hour can still jam out. Us, Unearth, Every Time I Die, like all these bands.

CB: We saw what it (Ozzfest) did for Slipknot in 1999, they were on the second stage and blew everyone away.

BS: Totally, Killswitch Engage played what, 2003 Ozzfest and just murdered it. Like, that's what set those bands up and those type of tours, I just think they need to happen again. Yeah, there's so much fun, right? There's not even a Warped Tour anymore. Those are staples of America. Like the one thing that Europe doesn't have is traveling tours. They have massive festivals, but they don’t have festival tours. America perfected that.

CB: They have one-off festivals, like Download (Festival), but nothing traveling.

BS: That needs to happen again.

CB: Yeah, for sure. I mean, even a few years ago, I didn't feel like metal was going to keep going.

BS: Yeah, like it was in the dumps before Covid, then during Covid…it was on a downhill before Covid. That was like, right when Bleeding Through was playing shows again. The vibe was weird. Yeah, everything was weird then.

CB: Yeah. I had a bad feeling about it but then, new bands started to come up, like Spiritbox and Sleep Token and stuff like that. They rejuvenated me and it kind of made everything a lot better. Rising tides lifts all boats.

BS: I told Bryan (Garris/lead singer) from Knocked Loose when I saw him playing in Texas, he comes up and he's like, dude, you’re Brandan from Bleeding Through, I love your band! And I’m like bro, let’s have real talk really quick. I'm like, I’m listening for inspiration to even want to do this again. And your band was one of those bands. Like it's respect, straight up. Those type of bands that are younger kids that are making this fucking noise out there in the music industry, playing shows like Coachella and stuff, like fuck! Yeah, that's amazing. I mean heavy music is on the precipice. Some of the biggest drawing bands right now are bands like Motionless and Ice Nine Kills, I Prevail and Parkway Drive. I mean those bands are selling out arenas. That's stuff that like Slayer used to have to do. So when you could get bands like that that are fucking popping off like that, that's fucking crazy, right? And I tell people now to be cautious, enjoy it while its at salad days level, because it’s gonna sink again. It’s the music industry bro, it’s the biggest wave. The biggest wave you can ride.

CB: And no matter what, we're still gonna be listening to it, so it doesn’t matter.

BS: Yeah it doesn’t matter, that’s the thing about fans, it’ll live on.

CB: So back to Rise Above, where do you see Rise Above in the future? You want to go how big you want to grow? Do you want to expand? Where do you see this gym in 5-10 years?

BS: I had aspirations to expand a long time ago and I just think that ship is sailed.
I'm very comfortable with just my gym. I'm very comfortable with it. I love it. It's been around for 12 years. It's a staple in the community, still doing well. Well it's it's never is never gonna be one of those things that was gonna make me a lot of money.
I mean, I don't need money, I have money. I don't live outside by means. I don't have to worry about money because I put a lot of hard work into it. I love it, I love it being a place where people can come in and get something out of it.
That's what I like. Yeah it's a fucking hard business and there's some waves in this and there's ups and there's downs. But I mean dude I love it. But you know if an opportunity comes up for expansion, cool. I'm never gonna shoot anything down but I'm totally okay with just keeping this a fucking staple. And then doing Bleeding Through, and my management, the clothing companies…Having other outlets and creating other outlets.

CB: Same thing with Bleeding Through, like where do you see Bleeding Through? Do you approach it month-by-month, day by day? You've got your new guitarist here…

(it is at this point where my interview was being rudely interrupted by new Bleeding Through guitarist John Arnold, who proceeds to distract us briefly with his rock star antics)

BS: I see Bleeding Through going as long as people want to do it. Like, we’re a very realistic band now. So like we're very realistic when it comes to expectations. And I think that's what makes it so fun. To come back and try to be like reclaim your glory years, that's foolish. That's why this time around, we came back almost like we're a new fucking band, right? Like new energy, our shows have been great. Just such a great vibe that we've never, I've never experienced with Bleeding Through shows. Every show is like a fucking event for the people there. You know, the the energy that I'm getting back and that we're getting back in the love like it's, it's never been like that before. So based off of that, it doesn't feel nostalgic. It feels new. Which is weird. It's like we're a new old man. And that's why I'll do this for another 10 fucking years, man. Like why not? Yeah I'll do it. You know, going to Columbia (Tattoo Music Fest) and fucking playing with Sick of It All, where fuck dude, Pete’s (Koller, guitarist) like 60. Yeah and he's the best guitar player still.

You know what I mean? Most energy, most life, inspiring shit. Why can't you do it, right? We'll be in good enough shape.

CB: Yeah because I think when you called it quits like, the first time around (2014), I think you were in a different place at the time.

BS: We had to (quit), if we would have kept it going then, it would have been embarrassing. Yeah, we would have had to do so many shows with filling this member, or that member. Everybody had other stuff going on and so we had we said no to every fucking tour, I'm like dude, why are we doing this?
Oh we got offered this fucking great tour. Oh, well like I could do it, Marta (keyboards) can do it, Derek (drums) can't do it. So we gotta find a drummer…It's like, you know I mean it's one of the it would have been one of those things that would’ve been a disservice to the band.

CB: Yeah. So you call the quits first time, did anybody….

BS: It wasn't quits. I left that door open. Like basically, what I said is that we are not going to be the same band when we come back. We will not a full time, 8 months-a-year touring band. The Bleeding Through as you know will be different.

CB: After that time, did any other bands approach you to join their band?

BS: I did a couple like side projects, ideas with people that just weren’t...

CB: But if there was something that's stood out to you that you were wanting to do…

BS: I was doing something with Slim (Brendan MacDonald/Bury Your Dead) and DL (Daniel Laskiewicz/The Acacia Strain). Mark (Castillo) from Emmure/Bury Your Dead, playing drums. It was fucking fantastic. It just wasn't the time. It was like Bad Wolves before Bad Wolves. It was like, radio friendly-ish hardcore music. Everybody was trying to get on the fucking A Day to Remember tip. But I think that like when you're in a band like Bleeding Through or in a band that's kind of like a legacy band, people are going to approach you. Bad Wolves approached me to sing after Tommy (Vext) left the band. I just couldn't do full-time touring there.

CB: Because they just saw you as Bleeding Through?

BS: No, I think they believed that I could do it and I could for sure do it. Tommy was a great front man with a lot of energy and charisma and you got to get someone up there that has the same.

CB: Last thing I want to say; between Bleeding Through and and Rise Above, you've done a lot for my mental health, not just my physical health too. First your songs, now your gym…the gym is more mental than it is physical for me. It's very therapeutic.

BS: That means a lot, man. Yeah, you’re family, dude. (Editor’s note: awwww!!) It's like, dude. At the end of the day, what a life… it's like you just getting to do this, you get to live this part of life, it's an outlet for you. I've got to live this crazy life, it’s fucking crazy. So at the end of the day, really, I just want to be around people and places and things that make me happy. And like, I want to help people be happy because mental struggles are no joke.

CB: It’s not.

BS: It almost killed me multiple times…

CB: Your videos help (Brandan occasionally posts videos on the Rise Above Instagram account talking about things like finding motivation when you’re struggling).

BS: I'm glad that you can find that in there, man.

CB: Yeah, like obviously the physical stuff is good, but mental stuff like hanging out (in a positive environment) is what I need…so thank you and thanks for doing this appreciate you!

BS: Appreciate you!

________________________________________________________

“I can’t feel, blind to see

The world is killing me, the pain is harder to take

My mind is lost

It’s building the emptiness and all the sorrow on me”

-Bleeding Through / “Damage Done”

Everything’s Eventual

I wasn’t planning on writing about my mom.

There is no wrong way to grieve, but it feels like I’m doing it wrong. I’m emotionally exhausted, and I feel lost.

Bunterngchit Asawesna passed away peacefully on August 21, 2022 in her home. She had colon cancer, as well as Alzheimer’s. I knew her as mom, but you can call her Bunny. She was the oldest girl of 8 siblings, so she learned how to be motherly early in her life. And what a wonderful mother she was. She was warm, selfless, caring, generous - the kind of person where if you didn’t like her, then there is something wrong with YOU. My mom always had a smile on her face (literally always, I dare you to find a picture of her not smiling). She wasn’t just my mom, she wasn’t just my brother’s mom, she was everyone’s mom. It didn’t matter if you were a blood relative or someone meeting her for the first time, she would take care of you. That’s just how she was.

And now she’s gone.

She physically passed away a few months ago, but I felt like I lost her many years ago. Alzheimer’s is a nasty, unforgiving disease that took away the last years of my mother’s life. It started out innocent enough; I remember she would sometimes call me by my brother’s name and vice versa. I didn’t think much of it, I was young and thought it was funny. Then she would get her brothers confused with each other. Then she would occasionally forget plans. She would call me on my birthday every year, until she didn’t. That’s when I knew something was wrong. Then it started to get worse. She would either forget to eat, or forgot that she had already eaten. She couldn’t remember what she did 10 minutes prior. She couldn’t finish a thought or sentence. What I thought was funny 30 years ago is definitely not funny now.

_________________________________________________________________

3 days after my mom had passed away, Spiritbox played a headlining show at the House of Blues in Anaheim. As soon as this show was announced months prior, I bought a ticket immediately. I didn’t just buy a ticket, I bought a VIP Meet and greet pass as well. Normally I don’t splurge on VIP for anything, but I bought VIP for this specific show because Spiritbox is one of my favorite new bands and I wanted to meet them and tell them how inspirational a certain song is to me. I think Spiritbox is a talented band with great songs, but “Constance” is one particular song that really spoke to me. “Constance” is a song about singer Courtney LaPlante’s grandmother Phyllis, who had dementia. Phyllis passed away at the beginning of COVID, and due to travel restrictions, LaPlante was unable to attend her funeral and properly say goodbye. During the last months of my mom’s life, listening to “Constance” brought me solace and peace during a time of confusion and sorrow. Feeling a connection to a song’s lyrics and energy is something I love and appreciate so much, and “Constance” is one of those songs. The comfort I feel when I hear that someone else is going through a similar experience is unparalleled; that feeling of not being alone is unlike any other for me.

The week that my mom passed, I had a few concerts that I was looking forward to. Ghost/Mastodon/Spiritbox. Devil Wears Prada/Dying Wish. I couldn’t bring myself to attend either show. It didn’t feel right, and I knew I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy those experiences. But I still chose to go the Spiritbox show, because I knew that I would be able to briefly meet them, and I absolutely had to tell them about my mom and how much “Constance” means to me. It’s my turn to meet the band, and after some pleasantries I mentioned how my mom had Alzheimer’s and passed away a few days earlier, and how much “Constance” meant to me during the end of her life. Next thing I know Courtney is giving me a big long hug, and saying how glad she was that I decided to come, and offered condolences, and assured me that they would be playing that song that night. I definitely choked up, and after receiving a big hug from guitarist Mike Stringer, I felt such relief. Like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

That moment played a large part in the beginning of my grieving process.

That moment showed me the path to healing.

That moment showed me that I am not dealing with this alone.

_____________________________________

That’s the incredible thing about music to me. The times where I felt alone and that no one would understand how I was feeling, I eventually found the song(s) that proved me otherwise. My favorite artists were the ones that were able to say the things that I was never comfortable saying at the time. “Constance” is just the latest song in a long list of tunes to reassure me that my thoughts and feelings are not unique, that other people were experiencing the same issues I was.

And that comfort I feel is not limited to music. One of my favorite new writers, Sara Runnels, went through a similar experience as I did. Her mother passed away from cancer a few months after my mom did, and wrote a beautiful 2-part piece about her. (I highly recommend this piece, which you can read here and here. It’s on Medium, not sure if you need an account to read, but I would sign up if you don’t. That piece alone is worth it). No matter how many times I read that piece or listen to “Constance,” I still tear up. Not just from the amazing writing, but the relief in knowing that if I cannot find the words to express how I feel, I know that there will be someone else who will.

The decision to write about my mom wasn’t an easy one. One day I would be excited to write about her, the next day I was scared to death to make myself vulnerable and put myself out there like that. Back and forth, every day for the past few months. Ultimately, I decided that I needed to acknowledge her passing, not just in her honor, but for my grieving process as well. To this day I don’t know if I am grieving properly, but I know this helped.

My mom and I went through a period where we were struggling to properly communicate with each other, and it seriously strained our relationship at the time. It was during that time that I really leaned into my music to help me get through this particular period.

I used music to push my mom away.

Now I am using music to bring me closer to her.

Funny how life works.

We live in a strange world.

“Dying sun burns in the night

I watch it glow, it’s so hard for me

Speaking darkness out of spite

Coercion and then caving in, wrap me in my bitterness

Give it up, I’m complacent

Just enough to escape it

Heretics wouldn’t faze me

Lucid trust, I don’t want it

Palms are rough when you promise

Fire lies when you’re honest

It’s hard to lose and wonder why

You pressure in increments

Like a slow-moving coup

Memories dissident

When I am holding you

If my sun won’t set tonight

I’ll look around but it’s so hard for me

Like a shadow passing by

Crashing into shapes and then fading with my innocence

Give it up, I’m complacent

Just enough to escape it

Heretics wouldn’t faze me

Lucid trust, I don’t want it

Palms are rough when you promise

Fire lies when you’re honest

You pressure in increments

Like a slow-moving coup

Memories dissident

When I am holding you.”

-Spiritbox / “Constance”